No one has ever said bringing up a child is an easy job. The fact that you love your kid does not mean you know the magical formula of successfully communicating with it. Although these little angels are substantially a part of us, they are in fact totally different! They see the things differently from the adults, they understand the world differently, and of course they use the words differently. So, how should we talk to them? There are various situations and each of them requires a special approach.
I will focus now on these awful moments when your child or children act like you don’t exist. They are wayward and capricious, you try to instruct them, but things get even worse. They don’t hear a single word of yours, you start to scold them about their bad behavior, they start to yell and/or cry... Have you been there? It is horrible, I know...
How to solve the problem? I will suggest you using some little tricks. I can not promise you these phrases work like a magic wand, but if you get the idea, you will soon find out the parent-child conversation is really a mission possible! And the main idea is to try really talking to the kid instead of reproaching it. Here are some examples:
1. Instead of saying “Come on! Hurry! I have tired of waiting for you!” it would be cleverer to say: “Hey! Attention! Ready, steady... here we go!”
2. You daughter or son is not hungry? You try to make him or her eat the stake and the vegetables by saying: “If you don’t eat your dinner, you will never get a dessert!”? Don’t be so threatening! Try to say the same thing encouragingly! Like: “Once the tiny steak disappears from this plate, a very very tasty thing will come into view!”
3. There is no kid that loves to tidy up his or her toys, but anyway if you say “Put your toys in order immediately!” the chances to put into effect this hateful job decrease further. Try using some finesse instead. Make everything look like a game. You might say dreamily: “I bet if you were a magician you would be able to put your room in order...". If you have more than one child, you could organize a competition: “The one who make his bed (put his toys in the right boxes, etc.) will be our great daily champion!”
4. It is very difficult for kids to understand we are busy. They come to us, they ask countless questions, they want to play with us, they want to see what exactly are we doing... And at the same time we have so much work to do! If we say: “Stop bothering me! I have no time for games and/or talking!” the effect is usually much different than expected. These words are a real challenge to our little monkeys who double their efforts to make us pay some attention to them. How to take our 10 minutes of silence in order to perform our job? The answer is simple: you should not just dispel your kids - it would be much better if you suggest them some interesting occupation. You could tell them: “Solve this beautiful jigsaw puzzle and I will come to play with you then!”
5. Your kid is angry because the favorite t-shirt is in the washing machine? “Stop murmuring and put on the shirt I say you should put on!” is not exactly the right way to make his or her dress up quick. It would be more efficient if you try something like: “Hey, this shirt with the red plane is the cousin of the shirt with the red car! Put it on today and the one with the car will be here for you tomorrow!”
6. The time for bed is not favorite to any kid. They try any possible trick to stay up longer. You might make them go to bed by saying: “Hug your teddy bear and put it to sleep under your blanket.”
7. You suspect you child has not heard a single word of the things you just said? Instead of shouting out: “How many times should I repeat one and the same thing!?” whisper mysteriously: “One, two, three... I have a secret information for you... It is very important... Could you repeat what you just heard?”
8. When “Why haven’t you still washed your hands?” does not work, try this: “I bet the soapy water from your hands will brown in color!”.
There are plenty of situations when some stealth is much more effective than strict orders and strong restrictions. Is this the way to fend off the quarrel and the kid’s whims? It takes nothing to try!